


The Runner

by caswinchesterbaby



Category: Supernatural
Genre: A lot - Freeform, Alpha Castiel, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dean Has Self-Worth Issues, I apologize for lack of sam, Knotting, M/M, Omega Dean, Spanking, While consent is given, dubcon, if you have any questions please contact me and I will clarify, it is not explicitly stated, oh god mother don't look, please take that into consideration before reading, so for that reason I'm tagging this as
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-17
Updated: 2015-08-17
Packaged: 2018-04-15 04:08:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4592337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caswinchesterbaby/pseuds/caswinchesterbaby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean stops breathing. There’s another knock on the door.</p>
<p>Dean can smell the four-week-old ketchup stain on the motel couch; he can smell the toast burning in room four; he can smell the faint traces of rain in the air, promising showers overnight; he can smell the salty tears from the girl fighting with her boyfriend in the parking lot.</p>
<p>And he can smell the pure electricity and honey that is Castiel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Runner

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, so umm, this is possibly one of the kinkiest/ most out there things I've ever written. (And it's probably not even all that bad.) I apologize now for any mistakes or overall poor quality; this story is quite out of my comfort zone, I think.

Dean stops breathing.

There’s another knock on the door.

Dean can smell the four-week-old ketchup stain on the motel couch; he can smell the toast burning in room four, the Alpha’s orgasm in room five; he can smell the faint traces of rain in the air, promising showers overnight; he can smell the salty tears from the girl fighting with her boyfriend in the parking lot.

And he can smell the pure electricity and honey that is Castiel.

He sniffs the air, desperate to get a read on Castiel’s emotion, but he finds nothing. The damn alpha was always talented at neutralizing his scent.

The last time Dean saw Cas was the night he ran away. If he closes his eyes, he can still picture the night clearly. Castiel was in a deep sleep, his arms wrapped around the pillow that Dean shoved next to him to replace himself, and his expression was relaxed. He was happy.

Then Dean ruined that by running away. He’d almost stayed. When he was in the Impala at the end of the driveway looking back at their home, he looked up at the half moon and imagined living the rest of his life with Castiel. He imagined pups; he imagined a wedding; he imagined a life full of love. But in the end, he left. Dean was no good for Castiel and he’d always known it. Mating the alpha was selfish and he never should have done it.

“Dean.”

The sound of his name slipping past his alpha’s lips is almost enough for Dean to rise and unlock the motel room door. However, he’s able to control himself as his inner omega screams to be reunited with its alpha. And he wants it, he wants it so bad.

This was never supposed to happen. None of it. Dean was never supposed to find his true mate in the middle of a coffee shop, he was never supposed to fall in love, and he was never supposed to tie someone down to him.

In the end, that’s why he had to leave. Cas is just too pure; staying would be casting an angel down from Heaven.

“Open the door. I will not ask again.”

Dean chews on his bottom lip and stares at the flimsy wood of the door. Castiel could kick it down easily, especially if he’s angry.

Ignoring the alpha will only work for so long, and then Dean will have no choice but to face his mate for the first time in months. Opening the door like a civilized human being would be the best course of action, but Dean can’t bring himself to do it. Hiding from Castiel hasn’t been easy in any way, shape, or form. Not only does the alpha know everything about the omega, but both of their instincts are on Castiel’s side. Living constantly on the edge isn’t great for the heart.

Dean expected Cas to look for him for a few weeks before settling back into his daily life and moving on, but five months? Dean planned to have a whole new life by now. He was going to find Sammy out in California in a few months once he was sure that Cas would have forgotten him.

A low growl draws Dean’s attention, stirring his instincts. Cas is going to break into the room. There are two choices: face Castiel or run.

Dean’s shoving his duffel bag through the bathroom window before he even comes to a decision. There’s a loud bang from the main room and Dean panics. He’s running out of time.

The duffel hits the ground and Dean climbs onto the sink. His shoulders are a bit of a squeeze, but he manages to push his top half through the window.

The harsh scent of Castiel’s anger attacks Dean’s senses all at once. Fuck! He didn’t hear him knock down the door. Bastard must have picked the lock. Dean doubles his haste and wiggles violently against the window. He _needs_ to escape before Castiel finds him.

To be honest, the feel of rough hands grabbing his thighs isn’t all that surprising. Nonetheless, Dean squeaks in shock as he is unceremoniously tugged back into the hotel bathroom.

Dean hits the floor with his chest, narrowly avoiding slamming his face into the tiles. The bathroom reeks of alpha rage. Dean stares down at the dirty tiles for as long as he can because he knows that as soon as he sees Cas, all bets are off, he’ll submit.

Forceful fingers grab the back of Dean’s neck and pull him up so that he’s kneeling at Castiel’s feet. He continues to stare at the grimy orange tiles. The honey in Castiel’s scent is almost completely overshadowed by the electricity.

“Look at me, omega,” Castiel growls. Obediently, Dean lifts his eyes. He won’t meet Cas’s own, instead settling his gaze on the man’s lips. The fingers tighten on his throat. “ _My eyes._ ”

Dean’s overwhelmed by blue. Cas’s eyes are just as beautiful as they were the last time Dean saw them. He expected to be met with burning red irises – the show of an out of control alpha, but there are only a few threads of the color intertwined throughout the blue.

Dean may only be able to smell anger, success, and his own fear in the air, but he can see the pain in Castiel’s eyes as clear as if the alpha is saying the words aloud.

A small wine escapes through Dean’s sealed lips. “Alph–”

“Do not speak unless prompted.” The order is given with a snarl of disapproval. Dean bites his lip to prevent any wayward excuses from escaping.

He’s thought about this before; what would happen if Castiel were to ever find him. The fantasy the thought about during his heats featured Cas claiming him at the first sight, no matter if they were in public. When he wasn’t in heat, he knew that Cas would either be angry, or he would start crying. Underneath all that alpha posturing, he’s really just a big sap.

None of those possibilities seem to be happening. Castiel is angry, that much is obvious, but he isn’t out of control.

“You’ve been a very, very bad omega, Dean,” Castiel says, threading his free hand through Dean’s hair. Dean’s eyes flutter shut. Castiel’s nails scrape against his scalp. “Eyes open.”

Dean obeys, noticing the added red strands in Castiel’s eyes.

“You ran away,” Castiel continues. “You left me alone and didn’t bother to say goodbye.” That’s not true. Dean wept silently at Castiel’s bedside that night as he said what was meant to be his final goodbye. “You didn’t even leave a note.”

Castiel tugs at Dean’s hair; not enough to hurt, but enough to send a message, a promise. “How do you think I felt when I woke to find my omega, my mate, my _beloved_ missing?”

Dean doesn’t dare answer.

“That was not rhetorical, omega.” The fingers tug harder in his hair.

“Bad,” Dean whispers, not trusting his voice.

“Bad?” Castiel echoes. “That’s all you can say? Bad?”

Dean chews on his bottom lip and drops his eyes to the floor. He can’t do this; he needs to escape.

“Sad.”

The hand that was previously in his hair grabs his chin and forces him to look back into Castiel’s captivating eyes. They’re quickly filling with more red threads.

“Try destroyed,” Castiel growls. “I was terrified something happened until I saw your belongings missing and the Impala gone. And then, then I realized what happened. You left. You _chose_ to leave, to be free of me.”

The level of red in Castiel’s eyes is frightening. Dean tries to back away, to put some distance between himself and Castiel, but the alpha holds him in place.

“It was the most agonizing rejection of my love you’ve ever given me.”

Dean whines, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. He’s terrified of what his alpha’s going to do to him. He never wanted Cast o feel that way, as if he wasn’t loved. Dean loves him more than anything in the world, even Sammy.

“I thought you didn’t love me anymore.”

Hot, sticky tears spill over and a strangled helpless whine forces its way out of Dean’s throat. “No, Cas, please,” Dean begs, slamming forward into Castiel’s legs and embracing him. “I love you so much.”

The hand in his hair loosens and becomes a comforting weight.

“Then why did you leave?”

Dean’s surprised to hear the words choked out, as if they pain Cas to speak them aloud.

Castiel’s scent keeps shifting, much too quickly for Dean to be able to get a read on his emotions. Dean buries his face in Cas’s tan trench coat and allows himself to inhale Cas’s scent; electricity and honey. Home. From the first time he scented Cas, he knew he would never smell anything like him again.

“Because I love you.”

Cas sighs. Dean thinks that he might have angered him, but then he’s being lifted into the air and gently carried over to the bed. There’s no sense in trying to run, Cas will only catch him.

Castiel rests against the headboard of the shitty motel bed and repositions Dean until he’s curled up in his lap. The warmth of Castiel’s embrace soothes Dean’s inner omega, calms his instincts. After all, that’s what a mate’s scent is meant to do.

“You ran away because you love me,” Castiel says. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

Dean looks up into his eyes, which are now a watery blue, and stares at him. It’s been so long since he’s been able to get lost in Cas’s eyes. Cas stares back at him, just as captivated as Dean is.

“You’re an angel,” is all Dean manages to say. He wants desperately for Castiel to kiss him, but the alpha is too confused.

Castiel squints down at him. “I assure you, I am very much human.”

Dean laughs at his mate’s awkwardness, but then immediately cuts off. What has he done? Dread and sorrow rise from his chest and pierce his heart. He never should have ran away from Castiel, from his alpha, from the man he can’t live without. In the end, all he did was hurt the both of them.

“I’m so sorry,” Dean sobs, burying his face into Castiel’s lithe chest and squeezing his eyes shut against the tears. “I ruined everything.”

Castiel lets him cry, softly shushing him and rubbing his back in soothing circles. “It’s all right, Dean,” he whispers in a low, warm voice. “I’m here, beloved, I’m here.”

Every single one of Dean’s senses is overwhelmed by Castiel. He’s missed his mate so much. So goddamn much. He didn’t realize just how much he’s needed Castiel until this moment.

“How can you ever love me again?” Dean whispers. He’s half shocked that Cas hears him.

“How could I ever stop?”

Dean lets out a broken sob and surges forward to capture Cas’s lips with his own. Dean controls the kiss for only a moment before Castiel dominates over him and demands his submission. Dean yields easily, opening up for his alpha and giving himself over.

In this moment, he doesn’t understand why he ever ran. Everything inside of him alights with joy from being so close with his alpha again. Why did he ever deny himself this?

Castiel breaks away from the kiss, instantly sending worry and dread into Dean’s mind, but he dismisses it just as quickly with a warm, comforting hand rubbing Dean’s upper arm. The gesture relaxes Dean’s body and mind.

“We have much to discuss. However, I would prefer to do so at home rather than at a barely legal motel.”

Dean nods and licks his lips, tasting Castiel on himself for the first time in over five months. His inner omega preens. Then another thought enters his mind. “I…I don’t have the Impala anymore.”

Castiel hums and rises from the bed, bringing Dean with him. “I know, I do.”

Dean’s shock must be evident, because Cas adds, “After you ditched Baby at a truck stop, she was towed and I was called since I am your legal alpha.”

Castiel blinks up at Dean. Despite being the omega, Dean’s a few inches taller than Cas. “I’ve been driving her around trying to find you.”

He doesn’t know how long he stares at Castiel, but it’s long enough for the alpha to release a quiet low growl. Dean looks away and mutters an apology. Before Dean ran away, he was the only one who drove Baby. Cas, being his alpha, technically has complete control over Dean’s life, not that Cas has ever taken advantage of that, but the one thing Dean _did_ have control over was Baby.

“Dean,” Castiel says, drawing his attention. “Let’s go home.”

Something shifts. Seeing Cas again has been great and his inner omega’s spirits are through the roof, but Dean can’t go home with him. He can’t go home at all.

“Yeah,” Dean says, subconsciously rubbing at the back of his neck. “I just need to get my duffle.”

Castiel eyes Dean’s action as if it personally offends him.

“Be quick, I want to get back to Lawrence before sunrise.”

Dean grunts in acknowledgement and ventures back into the bathroom. To his utter surprise and pleasure, Cas doesn’t follow him. While closing and locking the bathroom door might give him more time, it will also be suspicious.

Peaking his head out the door, Dean sees that Cas is standing by the motel door looking down at his shoes. As quickly and quietly as he can, Dean slips through the window, which is much easier now that he isn’t hindered by panic, and lands on the pavement. _Easier than I thought._

Dean’s slinging his duffel bag over his shoulder when a rough hand pushes him down to his knees. Dean gasps and looks back to see Cas watching him with a disappointed frown.

“I can’t say I’m surprised you ran.”

There are faint traces of anger in Castiel’s scent, but it’s overshadowed by his exhaustion.

Dean growls, sharp and threatening. He doesn’t want to hurt his mate, but his need to escape is his top priority. Cas’s responding growl is deeper, much more threatening. New webs of red enter his irises.

“I’m not losing you again.”

There’s a look of severe determination on Castiel’s face, one that Dean’s only seen a few times. Once, when a group of kids were throwing rocks at a bees’ nest, when Cas bit him during Dean’s first shared heat, and right before Castiel beat an alpha that slapped Dean’s ass in the middle of a mall.

Dean rips Castiel’s hand off of his shoulder and stands so that they’re eye to eye.

“Let me go, Cas.” He’s surprised not to hear his voice waver.

“I can’t.”

Dean takes a step back. Castiel takes two forward.

“You don’t have a choice,” Dean says.

Castiel’s scent sours, signaling his pain and desperation. He sighs, most of the red clearing from his eyes. “You’re right,” he says. “I really don’t have a choice.”

Dean realizes what Castiel’s about to do and runs, sprinting away before Castiel can lunge and tackle him to the ground. He knew Castiel would bite him, make it so that he’d be so hyped up on endorphins that he couldn’t be bothered to try and escape.

Heavy footsteps aren’t far behind him, but Dean’s still too far away for Cas to catch him. It’ll be damn near impossible to outrun the alpha, but it will be even more difficult to hide from him. Dean’s best bet is for a beta to stop and let him hitch a ride.

“Dean, stop!” Castiel yells, using his alpha voice. His steps slow for a moment before Dean shakes himself out of it and redoubles his speed. Cas is much too close for Dean’s liking.

There’s a gas station not too far from the motel. All Dean needs to do is get there and then he’ll come up with something. Of course, there’s the chance that no one will help him because he ‘belongs’ to Castiel.

Dean Winchester will always hate the world for how it treats omegas.

Another few minutes pass by with Dean’s limbs screaming at him to stop and to let his alpha carry him, until the distant glow from the gas station aids the half-moon lighting Dean’s path. Hope bubbles in Dean’s chest just to be destroyed as he trips over a rock. He hits the pavement with a yelp of pain and tries to get back up and run before Castiel reaches him, but a body slams into his own and pins him to the ground.

“ _Stay._ ” The order is snarled into Dean’s left ear as his hands are pulled behind his back and tied together with something silky. Castiel’s blue tie?

Dean struggles against him, but it’s no use, Cas is too strong. As soon as Cas is done securing Dean’s hands, he shifts and pulls Dean over his lap. Dean’s eyes blow wide as he realizes what’s about to happen.

“Cas–”

“Silence!”

Dean can’t see Castiel’s face from where he’s facing the ground, but he knows that there are no traces of blue left in the alpha’s eyes.

Dean’s jeans and boxers are yanked down simultaneously, exposing his bare ass to the chilly night air. His breath hitches only to be stolen out of his lungs at the first slap of Castiel’s hand on his right ass cheek. Fuck, it _hurts._ Three more blows come in quick succession, each stealing Dean’s breath straight from his lungs. He makes it to the eighth hit before tears well in his eyes.

“Cas!”

“No, Dean,” Castiel growls. “You will take your punishment.”

Dean whimpers and closes his eyes, letting the tears stain his cheeks. He’s already cried twice since Castiel found him. He’s starting to act like a stereotypical omega.

He loses count somewhere after twenty. To his complete horror, he’s achingly hard, his dick twitching against Castiel’s clothed thigh. They never ventured to far into kinky spanking, but the few times they had, it had always turned out well.

When it’s over, Cas pulls him up and holds him against his chest, shushing him softly as he sobs.

“Shh,” Castiel says, threading a hand into Dean’s hair and stroking his scalp. “It’s all right.”

Dean’s jeans and boxers are polled at his feet and his shirt is ripped at his right side from falling onto the ground. Despite the stinging pain on his ass, his hips thrust shallowly against Castiel, desperately seeking friction.

As soon as Castiel realizes what Dean’s doing, he pulls back. Dean whines high in the back of his throat and makes a move to reach out for his alpha, but the tie restrains him.

“A-alpha,” Dean sobs. Whereas he would have given anything to get away from Cas earlier, he’d give anything to be in his arms now.

“Bad omegas don’t get to come,” Cas says.

Dean sobs harder. His instincts are messing with his head and he can’t think straight.

“Stand up.”

Dean obeys. Being disobedient isn’t a choice anymore. A jolt of pain sings through his body straight from his ass when Castiel pulls up Dean’s boxers. He grits his teeth and stares at the ground when Cas starts to pull up his jeans, knowing that it will sting worse. But the pain never comes. Instead, Cas has Dean step out of the article and he folds them.

“I’m taking you home,” Cas says, meeting Dean’s eyes with his own steely gaze. The panic in Dean’s scent multiplies. Castiel’s gaze hardens. “Please, Dean, try and run. Run as many times as you’d like.”

Castiel takes a step closer, eliminating any space in between them. “Because I will catch you, and I will spank your ass raw.”

Dean doesn’t protest. His ass hurts too much to even think of causing it more pain. Already, his body is starting to give out on him. He’s just so goddamn tired. Of everything.

His eyelids are heavy, so heavy. If only he could…

 

***

 

Dean wakes to the comforting thrum of the Impala. He keeps his eyes shut, just listening to his Baby on the open road. He isn’t too out of it to forget how he got here. He remembers Cas finding him, he remembers being chased, he remembers his punishment, and then nothing. He fell asleep.

Deciding that he should still feign sleep, Dean cracks his eyelids open as wide as he dares and takes in his surroundings. He’s lying down in the backseat and Cas is at the wheel. It’s still dark out, it’s probably about two am.

Dean lets his eyelids flutter shut and takes a steady breath, subtly scenting the air. Cas’s scent is neutralized, which means that he’s in control of his body once more. Dean can’t tell what he’s thinking.

“I know you’re awake.”

The statement startles Dean, blowing his cover completely.

“Bastard,” Dean mutters. Cas growls. He may be in control, but he’s still on edge. Cas never growled this much before.

Dean tries to rub at his eyes, which are slightly crusty from so much crying, but can’t. Ge’s still fucking tied.

“What the fuck, Cas?”

The car accelerates on the highway just the slightest bit.

“Did you expect me to trust you?” Castiel bites back.

“I was asleep!”

Castiel pulls the car to the side of the road and pulls Dean out. _Not so in control anymore,_ Dean thinks. Alpha anger is palpable in the air.

Dean barely has time to open his mouth before he’s being slammed onto the hood, his boxers are shoved down, and Castiel’s palm is coming sharp contact with Dean’s still burning red ass. Dean yelps and tries to shift away, but this only encourages him.

“Do not,” another slap, “Raise your,” _smack,_ “Voice,” Dean cries out as Cas’s fingers land right over his exposed hole. “To me!”

At the end of the statement, Castiel turns a freshly sobbing Dean around in his hold and cradles him to his chest. It hurts so fucking much.

Castiel holds Dean as he cries, rubbing soothing hands up and down Dean’s back. “It’s all right, beloved, you’re okay. You took your punishment so well, love.”

Dean feels numb. So many things are happening at once and he has no idea what’s going on or how to deal with it.

“I – I’m sorry,” Dean says. He sounds distant even to himself.

Castiel kisses him softly on the forehead. “Would you like to sit in the front seat?”

Dean doesn’t want to sit anywhere. Just the thought of his ass on any surface brings tears to his eyes. However, his stupid omega instincts are commanding that he stays as close to his alpha as possible.

Understanding flashes in Castiel’s eyes. “Oh…You may lie down on your stomach in the back.”

Dean doesn’t think him, he merely nods his head. He allows himself to be positioned in the back of the Impala since his wrists are bound and he can’t do shit for himself. Castiel slips off Dean’s boxers completely, tossing them somewhere in the front. The fabric over Dean’s ass would have stung, but at least he would have been covered.

Neither one of them says anything for the entirety of the car ride.

The sun is just beginning to rise when they pull into their driveway. Having not been able to sleep during the car ride, Dean is wide awake. It’s been over five months since Dean’s seen this place.

“Welcome home,” Castiel whispers. Dean doesn’t know how to respond, so he doesn’t.

As if he’s not in his own body, he follows Cas through the house. There’s no way the alpha isn’t about to fall asleep. Everything is exactly how Dean remembers it. The television is in the same spot, the cushions on the couch are just as messy. Hell, there’s even a random empty glass sitting on the counter next to the fridge. The only thing different is that instead of a welcoming mix of his and Cas’s scents, he can only smell the stale scent of an alpha in grief. Guilt floods Dean’s mind, souring his scent.

Castiel leads Dean into the bedroom and flicks the light on. The room is bathed in golden light, and within seconds Dean’s overwhelmed. The last time he was in this room, he was making the most difficult decision of his life, a decision that he’s still not sure was the right one. Cas always liked to keep the bed made, he said that it made ruining it all the better. Now, there are sheets and blankets hanging off the mattress at weird angles and half the pillows are on the floor.

Dean knows that Castiel went through four different ruts – since Dean went through four heats – and he’s due for another in two weeks. But there aren’t any traces of an alpha in the throes of passion anywhere in the room. Did Cas skip his ruts or did he –

“You bastard!” Dean screams, surging forward and kicking Castiel’s legs since his wrists are still bound, Cas was obviously not expecting Dean to attack him if his wide eyes and panicked scent are anything to go by. “You cheating bastard!”

Dean went through each of his heats with only his hand and his slick to help him. He didn’t whore himself out to any alphas, not even the ones that would offer their knots in the days before his heats, when his scent changed and became sweeter.

Castiel’s scent shifts and before Dean knows what’s happening, he’s being pinned to the bed by an enraged alpha.

“It wouldn’t be cheating since you _left me,_ ” Cas growls. “You don’t have the right to be angry.”

Dean splutters and then glares. “The fucking right? I’m your mate, Cas!”

“then why did you leave?” Castiel yells.

Dean opens his mouth to retort, but he can’t find the words. How can he tell his mate that he’s poisoning him? How can he tell an angel that he’s sin?

The anger slowly dissipates from both of their scents as they watch each other. Eventually, Cas sighs and motions for Dean to stand up. Dean obeys instantly. He just feels so fucking lost. He’s beyond pissed, but he also feels insanely guilty.

Castiel starts untying the knots of the tie around Dean’s wrists. His fingers are gentle.

“I never cheated on you,” he whispers. Dean snorts. Despite his pride, he can hear the sincerity in Cas’s voice. “I’m telling the truth. Never in my life have I looked at anyone the way I look at you. even the thought of copulating with someone who isn’t you sets me on edge.”

Dean closes his eyes and releases a sigh of relief as his wrists are freed. If this was an hour earlier, Dean wouldn’t waste a second before punching Cas and making a run for it. But after seeing their home and their empty nest, Dean can’t bring himself to do much of anything.

“I went through my first rut without you and nearly tore the living room to shreds. I couldn’t bear to even enter our bedroom and see our empty nest.” Throughout this, Cas’s fingers skim idly over Dean’s wrists. “I went on blocking pills as soon as I was able to go out in public again.”

Dean doesn’t encourage Cas’s words, but he doesn’t dismiss them either. Castiel sighs again and Dean opens his eyes to see Cas looking around the room like a lost little bird.

“I have questions, so many,” Cas trails off. He sounds drained. “But for now, we should sleep.”

Dean can’t help but agree. When he was settling down to go to bed last night, the last thing he was expecting was for Castiel to show up. There were no signs, no traces of him nearby. Dean wants to ask Cas how he found him, but figures it can wait until the morning.

“I…” Castiel hesitates. There’s silence for a moment before he regains his voice. “I would like it if you slept in our nest with me.”

Dean knows it’s a bad idea. A part of him still wants to run, to save Cas. He’s about to decline when he sees the hopeful look in Cas’s eyes. He finds himself nodding. One night can’t hurt, right?

Or at least, that’s what Dean tells himself. He loses himself in his thoughts as Castiel finishes undressing him, taking off his gray Henley and red flannel. Dean knows that it’s then that Cas spots it. The alpha gasps and covers his mouth with one hand, the other reaching out for Dean but not touching him.

Resting against his chest on a thin silver chain is Dean’s mating ring. A mating ring is cherished even more than a wedding or engagement ring. It means forever – an eternity.

Castiel looks like he wants to say something so Dean silences him with a chaste press of lips. Dean pulls back and rests his forehead against his mate’s, his hands coming to rest at Cas’s waist.

“You’re wearing too many clothes, Alpha,” Dean says, fingers slipping under Castiel’s waistband and untucking his dress shirt. Castiel takes the hint and undresses quickly until he’s as clothed as Dean is.

They climb into bed together, each taking their respective sides. After spending months sleeping in Baby, a dirty alley, or a seedy motel, their nest feels better than anything Dean’s ever felt. He falls asleep curled in Cas’s arms before he can consider trying to run.

 

***

 

_My neck is wet,_ is Dean’s first coherent thought. He groans and rolls over so that the wet patch doesn’t get cold in the cool air. He tries to go back to sleep, but something tugs at the back of his mind. Something is wrong.

Slowly, Dean blinks open his eyes. He instantly regrets it. Only centimeters away from him, Castiel’s eyes are bloodshot and there are tears stains running down his cheeks. Cas must have been crying into Dean’s neck earlier.

Dean reaches out gentle fingers and brushes away his mate’s tears. “Don’t cry, Cas. Please don’t cry.” Again, the guilt rises in Dean’s chest, clawing its way up his throat. His guilt is a separate entity, a nightmarish figure that demands his full attention.

“How can I not cry?” Castiel asks, one of his hands coming up to enclose over Dean’s, still resting on Castiel’s cheek. Castiel lets out a small, broken sob. Other than Castiel and Sam, Dean’s never seen an alpha cry. “I miss you so much. And now you’re here, but not because you wanted me.”

Dean swallows around the lump in his throat. He’s never regretted running as much as he does in this moment. If anything, he should have at least left a note. Dean can’t even imagine how Cas felt when he woke to find Dean gone. Cas said ‘destroyed,’ but the word doesn’t carry the same meaning as the feeling.

“I miss you, too,” Dean whispers. For the first time in over five months, Dean sends out soothing omega pheromones to calm his mate. How could Cas think he doesn’t want him? “I…” Dean breaks off and licks his dry lips. “I’m ready to answer your questions now.”

Castiel blinks up at him, his wide blue eyes hopeful. Only a monster could bear to crush the hope behind those eyes. Castiel shifts and pulls Dean in close so that they’re chest to chest. Cas knows that Dean’s bad at talking about emotions so he shuffles them so that Dean’s head rests over Castiel’s heart. _Always so fucking considerate._

“Why did you run away?” is Castiel’s first question. Dean can’t say he wasn’t expecting it. After all, he’s already deflected the question.

Dean sighs and speaks to the tattoo over Castiel’s chest; an anti-possession symbol that matches Dean’s and Sam’s. Mary Winchester was obsessed with the paranormal when Dean and Sam were children so it only made sense to get the tattoos in her memory on the anniversary of her death a few years ago.

“I love you more than anything,” Dean says. “I need you to know that.”

Castiel hums, the sound reverberating between their flush chests.

“And you have to know how beautiful you are, truly, purely beautiful. I said it yesterday and I mean tit, you’re an angel, Cas. You’re the kindest, smartest, and most amazing person in the world. And me,” Dean gestures to himself with the hand that was previously clutching Castiel’s hip. “I’m poison. I drag you down and you know it.”

Dean sniffles against the tears that are steadily building behind his eyes. “How can I live with that? Knowing that I’m ruining your life. I ruin everything I touch.”

The scent of fresh tears alerts Dean to rub underneath his eyes, but the skin there is dry. Dean looks up to see Castiel’s face wet with new tears.

“Dean Winchester, don’t you know that you deserve to be loved?”

The words and the sincerity with which they are spoken break something in Dean, releasing his own flow of tears.

“I don’t,” Dean tries. “I don’t deserve you. I’m just a fucked up omega with daddy issues who never even finished high school.”

“Dean,” Cas growls, his arms tightening around the omega. “I will not let anyone speak so horridly and inaccurately about my omega, and that includes you.”

“But it’s true.”

“It isn’t,” Cas says. “Have you ever seen your soul? You are so beautiful, beloved.” Cas presses kisses to Dean’s eyelids. When did he close his eyes? “You have the most amazing soul I’ve ever seen. Do you know how I know that?” Castiel kisses the tip of Dean’s nose and taps his heart. “Because I can see you, Dean Winchester, and you are a miracle.”

“I’m not,” Dean whispers, but his voice cracks.

Castiel silences him with a gentle kiss. “You _are_. I work in the emergency room, I know a miracle when I see one.” He kisses him again. “I’m practically an expert.”

Castiel’s fingers wipe away Dean’s stray tears. “This is my fault, I should have seen it coming. You’ve always suffered from low self-worth. I should have paid more attention. I’m sorry.”

Dean blinks up at him, seeing the pure love written clearly across his features. Why did Dean ever try to take that away from him?

“Please, Dean, you must know how much you mean to me. You’re my _mate,_ I’d move Heaven and Hell for you.”

Dean’s amazed by the intensity of Castiel’s voice. These are the words of a desperate man.

“I’m sorry.” They’re the only words Dean can find. Nothing else seems to fit. “For everything. I promise I’ll never leave you again.” He’ll spend the rest of his life proving that.

Castiel stares into Dean’s eyes for a long time. _This is when he sees my soul._ Finally, he nods his head. “All is forgiven.”

Happiness floods Dean’s scent.

“However,” Cas says. “You are still going to be punished. You were missing for over five months, Dean. I can’t pretend it didn’t happen.”

To be honest, he expected to be punished.

“Two spankings a day for the next two weeks and you cannot leave the house without my permission for three months.”

Dean narrows his eyes, but doesn’t protest. He’s getting off easy.

“Hey Cas?”

Castiel squints down at him. “Yes?”

“How did you find me?”

Castiel strokes Dean’s hair idly. “I had help from Meg.”

Dean pulls out of Castiel’s hold and stares at his mate like he’s crazy. “Meg Masters?”

Cas blinks. “Yes.”

Meg Masters, the beta that’s been trying to get Cas to sleep with her since college. “She helped you find me? She hates me.” It’s more likely Meg would have straddled Cas than helped him.

“While Meg may not be very fond of you, she saw how upset I was and offered to help. It took a while, but we found you, and then I used my instincts to track you once I was close enough.”

Dean still can’t believe Meg actually helped them to get together. He makes a mental note to send her a fruit basket.

“I missed you so much, Dean,” Cas says. “Sometimes I’d get angry and I was a volatile alpha, and other times I got really depressed. But mostly, I just missed you. I’m lost without you.”

Dean captures his alpha’s lips in a searing kiss, pulling Castiel’s bottom lip between his teeth and sucking on it. God, he missed Cas so much. A single thread of arousal filters into the air and Dean gasps. He hasn’t smelled that intoxicating scent in over five months.

“Dean, I still have more questions –”

“Cas, please,” is all Dean can say. It works.

Cas pulls Dean in closer, slotting his thigh between Dean’s legs. Instantly, Dean rocks back onto it, slick trickling out of his hole.

“Used to dream about you,” Dean says. “During my heats. Want you so bad.”

Castiel kisses Dean sweetly in juxtaposition to Dean’s needy grinding. Slowly, Dean rolls them so that Castiel’s body is over his, the alpha’s body resting between Dean’s spread legs. While Dean isn’t always under Cas the way that society tells him he should be, he can’t think of anywhere else he’d rather be after so long without his mate.

“Some nights,” Castiel whispers. “I would sit in the living room and stare at the door for hours waiting for you to come home.”

The guilt exudes into Dean’s scent, but Castiel kisses it away. “You’re home now,” he kisses into Dean’s jaw, his neck, his collarbone, his shoulder. “My beloved is home.”

“I’m home,” Dean echoes. “I never should have left.”

Castiel lathes over Dean’s mating mark, licking over the claim he made on Dean all those years ago. His teeth tease over the bite mark, sending arousal zinging through Dean’s whole body. Dean’s legs wrap around Castiel’s back, hooking at the ankles.

“I want you to mark me.”

Dean pushes Cas away from his throat and blinks up at him with wide green eyes.

“Do you mean…?” Dean taps the side of Cas’s throat.

Cas nods. “I’m yours.”

Heat explodes from Dean’s chest and he’s pulling Cas in close and attacking him with kisses all over his face. His eyes are burning and everything is tinged gold, meaning Dean’s irises are omega gold. Some omega’s eyes turn gold when they’re excited or scared, but Dean’s have only turned before when he was in heat.

Cas giggles – fucking giggles – and pushes Dean back from his onslaught on Cas’s face. The giggles turn into a gasp when he sees Dean’s eyes.

“Your eyes are gold,” Cas says.

“And I thought it was just my soul you thought was golden,” Dean says, fluttering his eyelashes.

Castiel sniffs Dean’s neck. “You don’t smell like you’re in heat.”

Dean shrugs and pushes Castiel until there’s enough space between them for him to turn and present. “Just miss you, Alpha.”

The effect is instantaneous. Immediately, one of Castiel’s hands comes to rest on Dean’s hip and the other kneads at Dean’s ass. Dean hisses. His ass is still sore from being spanked twice yesterday. Castiel glides his palm over the skin and blows out puffs of warm air.

“Relax, omega,” Castiel says right before a tongue licks over his hole, spreading and encouraging more slick. Dean’s whole body shakes, his hole fluttering at the contact. Nothing but his own fingers have been down there in over five months. He moans obscenely loud and rocks back onto Castiel’s probing tongue.

Dean closes his eyes and gives in to sensation. Castiel stretches him slowly and carefully with his tongue and fingers, Dean’s copious slick easing the way. He almost sobs in joy when he feels the blunt head of Cas’s cock.

“Please, Cas,” Dean begs. He can’t wait any longer.

Castiel pushes in with a growled “ _mine,_ ” pausing once he’s fully inside to give them both time to adjust. Dean almost forgot just how full he feels with his mate inside of him. Now all he wants is Castiel’s knot to tie them together. He needs to be tied to his alpha again after so long, to renew their mating.

Castiel pulls out slightly only to rock back in. He sets a slow, loving rhythm that Dean can’t deny he loves. Every brush against his prostate brings him closer to orgasm. He can feel Cas’s knot beginning to form at the base of his cock, teasing at Dean’s rim.

Castiel’s knot almost catches on Dean’s rim, but then Dean panics and tries to crawl away. Urgency and panic bleed into Dean’s scent and Cas is immediately out of Dean and off the bed with his hands up in surrender.

“What’s wrong?” Castiel asks, his eyes and scent full of fear. “Are you okay?”

Dean rolls over so that he’s lying on his back and spreads his legs in an obvious invitation. “Wanna see you,” he slurs.

The pleased look in Cas’s eyes sends a thrum of need to Dean’s neglected hole. “Alpha, come back.”

Castiel doesn’t deny him.

Within minutes they’re back to where they were before. Dean has his eye on the exact spot he wants to mark Cas. The alpha sucks on Dean’s mating mark as he pushes his knot past Dean’s rim. Castiel’s hand wraps around Dean’s aching, leaking cock and jacks him in time with his thrusts.

It’s too much, Dean comes on a scream, slamming forward and clamping his teeth down into the juncture between Castiel’s neck and shoulder. The claim has Cas’s knot expanding inside of Dean and then the alpha loses his rhythm, coming and biting down over Dean’s mating mark, renewing his claim.

The rush of endorphins is enough for Dean’s vision to white out. When he comes down from the high, he’s cradled in Castiel’s embrace with the alpha cleaning his mark. Dean looks at his claim on Cas’s neck in fascination. They match each other perfectly.

Dean reaches out and strokes his hand through his alpha’s hair. Castiel lifts his head and blinks up at him. Dean falls in love all over again.

“I’ll never leave you again,” Dean whispers.

Cas kisses the tip of his nose softly. “And I’ll never let you go, my little runner.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me [here](http://castielskeytotheimpala.tumblr.com/) on tumblr! :)


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